Technophobes Anonymous

Since getting my laptop last summer I've been trying to learn more about how to use one.
Somehow, this stuff escapes me ( as do many things through the tiny hole the CIA drilled in my skull, in order for me to walk around with aluminum foil wrapped around everywhere except my mouth. ) You should try driving like that, quite a challange.
Back to the subject I'm avoiding. AAARRRGGHHH! This stuff reminds me of trying to learn high school math.
Here are a few of the things I can't wittle out:
1. sending a web address to someone who needs it.
2. downloading some of my emails onto
my documents folder so I can refer to them
later. What the heck are cookies anyway? I thought they were the things I made for Christmas. Maybe I'm expected to push the dough through one of the many little holes that seem to be located all over this thing.
. 3. cut and paste anything except paper dolls.

There are at least 25 more, but I'm typing one handed ( I'm lovin it! ) so it takes me about three weeks to type anything. If something important has come up in that time, I'm totally unaware. Has anybody been picked as Obama' s running mate yet? Has Hilary played nice? Has Bill Clinton persueded a teenager to give him a blow job in his Presidential Library?

Maybe I should stop looking for new ways to use this fargin' thing and just enjoy what I can do. My BFF has tried to teach me things which I promptly forget ( not to mention all of my passwords for different sites which I then have to change in order to forget them for next time.)

When all is said and done ( I've always wondered what that means, said and done it's time to kick the old oaken bucket, flush the toilet, turn around and go home, kick your husband out of the house, finish wallpapering the attic. ) I think I'll take the technophobes way out and do nothing, nothing at all.