Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm No Mamie

I have nothing but sympathy for First Ladies. They always have to be on their best behavior. They get criticized every time they put a foot out the door. Their clothes, make-up, hairdo and general demeanor are scrutinized by a salacious public with an electron microscope. They're expected to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother and the perfect hostess to visiting dignitaries, and if anyone thinks they're falling down on the job, they receive (for their sins) a perfect storm of bad press. They have no personal life left to them, which means that they can never go to the cocktail bar at Grand Central Station and have four martinis with their sister. That sounds like pure Hell to me!

I have no clue who thought it would be a good thing for Michelle Obama to speak at the Convention, but I'd bet $10.00 that it wasn't her idea. Some smarmy PR person came up with this and I'm sure that no matter how admirably she pulls it off, she'll still end up crying into her pillow because some putz didn't like how she phrased something or hated the color of her lipstick. And it's going to go on and on like that for four years! Who among us could stand that kind of close inspection? It stinks!

So, if Kurt should ever be elected to the office of President, expect to see me in Groucho glasses and carrying a stiff drink on all public occasions. That'll be my tribute to all the First Ladies who had to smile and make pleasant small talk one hundred percent of the time for almost half a decade of their lives.

I say to all the First Ladies, "Let your freak flag fly, Sugar Pie! Fly it proud! Fly it high!"

- Gerda E. Diesel Dietzel-Dietzel -- Artist, Choreographer, Female.

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