Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I could not sleep at all last night. I woke up every two hours or so before I finally decided to pack it in. Glad I don't work today. Also, it was still kind of restful. I laid and looked out the window while listening to my Ipod, which is probably my favorite thing to do. I also listened to the BBC on my clock radio. Said clock radio is Chris' and he has had that thing since 1988. We have gotten new clock radios to replace it (because it seriously looks just like the clock from Groundhogs Day) but they never work as good. So, every night I set its creaky old buttons and then listen to NPR before I go to sleep. Yes, Mom, it is true that I keep the clock in bed with me. Sometimes we don't hear the alarm because the duvet muffles the sound.

I am off to buy some beads in a little while to finish up a project. Then I am watching Euro 2008 soccer (real football) until around 2pm. Then I will get back out there and exercise because I have to be in a bridesmaids dress in front of 200 people in two months. Better start early. It's a nice dress though. This is it below. Same color and every thing. I will make some jewelry to go with it.

Mom and I went to see The Visitor last night. What a spectacular film. The actor who played the main part of Walter was brilliant. Such an understated and quiet film that managed to convey a stronger message than any other film I have seen in a long time. I think it was partly why I could not sleep. Not in a bad way, just in a contemplative way. I just felt thoughtful all night.

I start the mural on Friday. I have got Mom's digital camera to document the process. I'm nervous.

Mom, if you have not gotten the Anthony Bourdain Vietnam episode (Mr. Sang's Island) go get it right now. I just saw the rerun last night and it is one of those AB episodes that has all the things you want lined up in a perfect snarky row. One of the best episodes I have seen.

On the issue of belief, I never believe something until I look it up myself. Over time, from listening to the news and from listening to co-workers, I have come to understand there is an element of propaganda in everything I hear. Mild or not. Intentional or not. It is always there. That extra hype a person/news show gives information to make it more interesting or surprising. Ick. So, I think "Yeah, right." Then I go get on the Internet and look it up my damn self and find out half of what I was told was rubbish. You can't go look up God, though. You'd be on the Internet for the rest of your life. I don't have that kind of time, so I read some books on religion and found out several major religions were originated from powerful men wishing to subjugate the populous for tithes. Not surprising. This has diminished the idea of religion for me. Also diminishing the idea of religion for me is that most non-religious people I know are much better in heart and spirit then the religious, just like Kurt said. Religious people need to work on that whole single-mindedness thing. It isn't good.

Lastly, I have always felt that when I believe in something, it is less likely to be true. Just because I believed in it. I cannot get rid of this superstitious niggling that to believe in something is to curse it.

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