As for the raven-haired child, she's preoccupied with being a happy nearly well adjusted married adult. So, I'm not going to press any more--you do the pressing. She'll be great when she jumps in but it may be awhile.
As for your friend with the anger management problem: I heard Wayne Dyer say once that there is a tremendous amount of sorrow, poverty and illness in the world but you'll never be sick enough or poor enough or miserable enough to do anything about it. Wayne Dyer talks a lot but that statement was clear to me. We'll never be able to fix or even help someone like the Angry Friend by becoming like them or by making ourselves a victim to them. Our first responsibility is to ourselves and there is nothing selfish in that. Our responsibility is to love whoever we want to, respectfully and to live our lives as we choose, decently and to find our happiness in our own way not necessarily thumbing our noses at the world but by being firm and resolved to find our own way in a world that throws religion, values, propriety and opinion (among other things) up as roadblocks whenever you start having a good time without asking anyone's permission.
Uh-oh, I must be getting an adrenaline rush--I can tell by the length of my sentences--I get out of breath just reading them. I have a friend I used to go out to dinner with because, like me, she likes to try new places and foods and drinks--she also unfailingly belittles the waitstaff --embarrassing them and me and I would always relieve by feelings by leaving an enormous tip.I don't put myself in that position anymore. I'm much happier.
I love you.